Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize