How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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