whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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