were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
