Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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