Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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