i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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