dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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