she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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