If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
