whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
