Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
