It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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