Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My ass is underappreciated
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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