My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
