i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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