no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
