hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
