i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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