i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
