I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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