he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
