The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize