so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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