Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
and you fell through a lawn chair
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
