I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just found puke in my bra..
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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