i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
