mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
