So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
