Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
