yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize