Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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