ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
