Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
