hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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