Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
