apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
