Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize