then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
