let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
