I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I need a beard to bite.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
