i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
