Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
