well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
