I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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