Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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