Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just high enough for therapy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
