but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
