Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize