Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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