it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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