I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
