i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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