I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
