Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize