no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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