Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
