a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize