Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
