I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mom said you looked used
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
