saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
