omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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