the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
